Yes, yes, we’ve heard everything there is to be said about Lana del Rey. Just hear me out, okay? I need to flush out all of these things I feel when I listen to her.

Honestly, honestly, terrible performances aside, Lana del Rey is phenomenally successful. She is intensely fashionable, has a well-developed and unique musical style, and, most importantly, controversial without pulling media stunts. No meat dress necessary here! She is both loved and hated by the blogosphere, and I’ve got to admit, I feel these things. I FEEL THEM! I feel the lure of her pouty singing, the excellent execution of blending future/retro vibes, and her stylishly gritty music videos. On the other hand, I’m distracted by the cliches: the James Dean bad boys, the drugs, the disillusioned Hollywood falling-down-drunk blonde. They’re hollow sentiments, subjects that NO ONE can relate to. “Video Games” approach greatness by addressing MODERN FEELINGS, but ultimately it fails to be the song that it could have been. The first time I heard it, I assumed she’s being completely sarcastic about “heaven is a place on earth with you”, and thought, ” oh how clever! to sing an insincere love song!”. After listening to the rest of the album however, you find out that Lana is actually, for real, totally in love with this dude. That song isn’t about pointing out to the dude how shitty he is to her, that song is about how it’s shitty but I’ll do it anyway for you, for you, its all for you.

Of course, this totally-in-love-ness is confirmed by “Blue Jeans”, and this song makes the “love hurts” cliche sound totally fucking awesome. Seriously, Lana, this dude plays video games when you’re in a sundress, and now is ‘bout to leave to “make money”?? He’s probably just finding an excuse to leave. The Pitchfork review for this album is totally spot on when it points out how Lana is of zero help to sexual politics, and it is even more painful to listen to the whole album after this was pointed out to me.

(If you haven’t listened to the whole album and don’t want feminist ideas in your head while you listen, you should probably stop now. Oh, who am I kidding, you probably should have stopped one and a half paragraphs ago. Sorry!) 

Born to Die gives in completely to Lana’s persona. She’s a glamorous blonde with a glamorous party lifestyle who is completely and hopelessly in love with some stubbly shirtless couch potato of a dude…and that’s it. There’s no introspective critique of herself, of her love affair, or of whether this whole thing is just SILLY. This thing would work if she just takes the time to be like “yes i know i’m being silly but I DO WHAT I WANT”. 

BUT, back to “Blue Jeans”. Let me just sing its praises for a little bit. Again, it sounds AWESOME. The vibes are just WELL DONE! Atmospheric, with a perfect dose of mopey-ness, great beats, and that sensual way she wraps her desperation around “street” vocab makes “Blue Jeans” the perfect song to lie down drunk and smoke a cigarette to after you finally break up with someone you shouldn’t have been with in the first place.* It is the perfect song for a grown up who wants to give up their jadedness for a little bit and feel vulnerable. This doesn’t look pretty, mind you, and isn’t fun to watch for twelve tracks, but if you put Blue Jeans on repeat and ignore the rest, you can almost see the heights that Lana could’ve reached. 

For more reading, I’d also recommend this article by SPIN magazine, which I think does a good job talking about her persona and why we reacted so violently against it. 

*don’t smoke in bed, kids! falling down drunk in your bathtub is much more suited for the song anyways.